Aloha humans! I actually remembered something funny! What?! Okay, in all seriousness, here is the story of my one and only time acting.
It was 7th grade, the annual One Act Play competition. In middle school, One Act Play was a contest that you only did once, it didn’t have stages like it did in High School (no district, region, state). Our school decided to do a parody of A Midsummer Night’s Dream called: Midsummer/Jersey.
It’s even worse than it sounds. It is straight up a Jersey Shore parody of Shakespeare’s classic comedy.
I really, really wanted to play Puck. Unfortunately, the director was also the school’s guidance counselor, and that meant lots of favouritism. I lost the part to a girl we’ll call… Opal. I hated her for a good three weeks after that. We’re chill now. I assume. I haven’t talked to her since High School.
Instead, I played a fairy named Moonbeam and a girl named… um… (“Lizzie, what was my character’s name?” “Oh, uh… I don’t remember…” “TO GOOGLE!”) Franci, or Terri, or whatever. I think Franci. Franci Flute. She plays Juliet in the play at the end.
I was not exactly a majour character, so… I barely remember the plot, I just remember my bits.
Oh, and guess who else was in this play? My sister! I’d invite her to come comment, but she’s already gonna be guest starring on my YouTube later, so we’ll save her til then, alright?
Anyway, she played Nikki Bottom. Who plays Romeo. That was funny. And awkward.
Okay, now for some stories from our performance!
- There’s this bit where Puck is supposed to incorrectly finish Oberon’s sentence. Oberon is about to say heart, Puck returns exclaiming that he is “back!” Funny concept, but Opal didn’t quite get the joke. Whenever she came on stage she’d just say the word back, like purposely finishing the sentence. This finally drove me crazy enough that I explained, “You’re supposed to say back like you’re telling Oberon that you’re back, not like the part of the body.” The I demonstrated, “Baaack!” She used the exact way I said it and was praised for it. I’m still proud of myself for that.
- For the end, during the Romeo and Juliet play-within-a-play, we needed a dagger. All we had in our atrocious prop room was a broad sword. After Lizzie spent several practices trying to work out how to use this sword as a dagger without looking like an idiot, the director finally turned it over to the wood shop to get it shortened. It was much easier after that.
- At the point where Juliet dies at the end, I was supposed to dramatically say “Adieu! Adieu! Adieu!” and collapse dead on top of “Romeo.” The director decided it would be better if I punctuated each “Adieu!” by collapsing, and then rising again, essentially teasing the audience into not knowing if I’m alive or dead yet. Funny in theory, literally painfully awkward in practice. Turns out collapsing dead, in a convincing manner, on top of someone is quite painful and it was really hard for Liz to not grunt or exclaim in pain when I fell on her. Falling onto someone isn’t exactly a picnic either, so in the end, I just said my “Adieu!”s really dramatically and let that be the end of it.
- Not really from the show, but related. The prop room was an absolute mess and it was difficult to find the costumes and set pieces we needed for the show. So, we decided to organize it. I was put in charge of this big box full of hats. As I was digging through the hats, I found a dead mouse in the bottom of the box, surrounded by ruined hats. We threw the box out after that. I think they’ve replaced it with a plastic bin with a lid.
- In an effort to mimic Jersey Shore fashion, all the girls were supposed to wear bumps in their hair. I was not a fan of this plan. Luckily, I happened to have a sparkly, black trilby. It matched my generic background character outfit pretty well, so I asked the director if I could wear it. I got the green light and didn’t have to sit in hair and makeup for two hours. Just one. For the makeup. Theater makeup is intense, people.
- At the end of our show, we have a bit where the characters celebrate completing the play-within-a-play by dancing to Katy Perry’s Firework. It was one of very few prerecorded sound effects, so it shouldn’t have been difficult to play. Except, once, it wouldn’t play. In the middle of a performance. We had to compensate by awkwardly humming the music as we danced around the stage. Woo.
- My sister used to be super anti-cussing. You wouldn’t know it now, she’s practically a sailor, but 8th grade (for her, 7th for me) was right around the time she was getting over that. And one of her lines was, “They’re trying to make an ass out of me!” She giggled almost every time she said it. She laughed at the contest!
- Speaking of Lizzie! Instead of just a donkey head, or long ears, or something that made sense, our director bought a donkey ONSIE for her transformation. She had to go backstage, put on a onsie, put on her overshirt over it, and get back on stage within the space of about 20 seconds. We only truly pulled it off once. Contest day.
- Finally, and most importantly, show day. The one true time we had to do this and do it well. We were all nervous, but pretty stoked. For this one night, all of our differences, our arguing, and our pettiness melted away. We were a team, a family. Trust me, it did not last. It didn’t even last to our next play (there was a student run one, just for fun). I’m getting off topic. The point is, we really came together for this. Hair and makeup worked the fastest and had us looking the best they’d ever done, props were all ready for striking, lights and sounds were on point, the stage crew (which was just whatever actors weren’t on stage at any given moment) were super efficient. It was truly our best show. Except when Lizzie corpsed, but shhhh…. Drama aside (hahahahahaha), we won. First place! WOOOOT! I get excited just remembering it. I never talked to those people afterwards (except Opal, she’s chill)(probably)(and obviously Lizzie).
So, that’s it. My acting career. One play (and I guess you can count this one choir show, but…)(and the time I did a one-man performance of BMC for Lizzie’s B-day, but that was self-run and my acting SUCKED). ANYway, you humans should comment if you have any funny acting stories. I love hearing/reading them, so bring it on! If anyone actually does this, I’d be willing to read them out for a video if you give permission.
Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!