Storytime: Friends You Haven’t Met

Aloha humans! Ever heard the phrase “strangers are just friends you haven’t met?” I want to make it obvious where the title came from.


Today, for Valentine’s, Mimi, Lizzie, Blue, and I all went to IHOP for dinner. As we are being seated, I see a girl sitting at a booth and, for whatever reason, I take a note of her. Lizzie would claim it was my psychic powers acting up if I told her. Anyway, we’re seated, we order, now we’re waiting.

As we are waiting, Mambo No. 5 starts playing over the speakers. I turn to Lizzie and say, “Monika.”

She giggles and we start saying Monika in time with the names and Mimi gets kinda irritated. We start to explain the meme, when, from over in the direction of the booth with the girl, we hear, “I know exactly what you’re talking about!”

I turn and say, “Thank you!”

There were now two girls in the booth, and it was the new one that had spoken up. Tehy return to eating and my family returns to talking.

A little time passed.

Mimi asks about a recording Lizzie and I did that we ended up losing. I start explaining the process of recording and editing, and what exactly happened to the hour of footage we lost, when I suddenly:

What’s your YouTube?”

The girl I’d noticed when we walked in was standing at the end of our booth holding out her phone. I take it and type in my username.

“Cool. I heard you talking and I was like ‘Oh, a YouTuber!’ so I wanted to subscribe.”

I was so frickin’ zazzed. I sat bouncing in my seat for a while before the food came and I pulled myself together.

And that’s how I gained to (possible) subscribers today.

Some cool things about this:

  1. Bonding with random strangers over memes and YouTube
  2. Someone I don’t know well taking an interest in my YouTube channel
  3. Me getting a feeling that one of those girls was gonna pipe up during the parts of the conversation before they did. I’m not even kidding, I could kinda feel them listening to the conversation. Like when someone is staring at you and you can feel it? But a bit nicer.

Anyway, that’s all I got. Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!




Storytime: A Midsummer Night’s Jersey

Aloha humans! I actually remembered something funny! What?! Okay, in all seriousness, here is the story of my one and only time acting.

It was 7th grade, the annual One Act Play competition. In middle school, One Act Play was a contest that you only did once, it didn’t have stages like it did in High School (no district, region, state). Our school decided to do a parody of A Midsummer Night’s Dream called: Midsummer/Jersey.

It’s even worse than it sounds. It is straight up a Jersey Shore parody of Shakespeare’s classic comedy.

I really, really wanted to play Puck. Unfortunately, the director was also the school’s guidance counselor, and that meant lots of favouritism. I lost the part to a girl we’ll call… Opal. I hated her for a good three weeks after that. We’re chill now. I assume. I haven’t talked to her since High School.

Instead, I played a fairy named Moonbeam and a girl named… um… (“Lizzie, what was my character’s name?” “Oh, uh… I don’t remember…” “TO GOOGLE!”) Franci, or Terri, or whatever. I think Franci. Franci Flute. She plays Juliet in the play at the end.

I was not exactly a majour character, so… I barely remember the plot, I just remember my bits.

Oh, and guess who else was in this play? My sister! I’d invite her to come comment, but she’s already gonna be guest starring on my YouTube later, so we’ll save her til then, alright?

Anyway, she played Nikki Bottom. Who plays Romeo. That was funny. And awkward.

Okay, now for some stories from our performance!

  • There’s this bit where Puck is supposed to incorrectly finish Oberon’s sentence. Oberon is about to say heart, Puck returns exclaiming that he is “back!” Funny concept, but Opal didn’t quite get the joke. Whenever she came on stage she’d just say the word back, like purposely finishing the sentence. This finally drove me crazy enough that I explained, “You’re supposed to say back like you’re telling Oberon that you’re back, not like the part of the body.” The I demonstrated, “Baaack!” She used the exact way I said it and was praised for it. I’m still proud of myself for that.
  • For the end, during the Romeo and Juliet play-within-a-play, we needed a dagger. All we had in our atrocious prop room was a broad sword. After Lizzie spent several practices trying to work out how to use this sword as a dagger without looking like an idiot, the director finally turned it over to the wood shop to get it shortened. It was much easier after that.
  • At the point where Juliet dies at the end, I was supposed to dramatically say “Adieu! Adieu! Adieu!” and collapse dead on top of “Romeo.” The director decided it would be better if I punctuated each “Adieu!” by collapsing, and then rising again, essentially teasing the audience into not knowing if I’m alive or dead yet. Funny in theory, literally painfully awkward in practice. Turns out collapsing dead, in a convincing manner, on top of someone is quite painful and it was really hard for Liz to not grunt or exclaim in pain when I fell on her. Falling onto someone isn’t exactly a picnic either, so in the end, I just said my “Adieu!”s really dramatically and let that be the end of it.
  • Not really from the show, but related. The prop room was an absolute mess and it was difficult to find the costumes and set pieces we needed for the show. So, we decided to organize it. I was put in charge of this big box full of hats. As I was digging through the hats, I found a dead mouse in the bottom of the box, surrounded by ruined hats. We threw the box out after that. I think they’ve replaced it with a plastic bin with a lid.
  • In an effort to mimic Jersey Shore fashion, all the girls were supposed to wear bumps in their hair. I was not a fan of this plan. Luckily, I happened to have a sparkly, black trilby. It matched my generic background character outfit pretty well, so I asked the director if I could wear it. I got the green light and didn’t have to sit in hair and makeup for two hours. Just one. For the makeup. Theater makeup is intense, people.
  • At the end of our show, we have a bit where the characters celebrate completing the play-within-a-play by dancing to Katy Perry’s Firework. It was one of very few prerecorded sound effects, so it shouldn’t have been difficult to play. Except, once, it wouldn’t play. In the middle of a performance. We had to compensate by awkwardly humming the music as we danced around the stage. Woo.
  • My sister used to be super anti-cussing. You wouldn’t know it now, she’s practically a sailor, but 8th grade (for her, 7th for me) was right around the time she was getting over that. And one of her lines was, “They’re trying to make an ass out of me!” She giggled almost every time she said it. She laughed at the contest!
  • Speaking of Lizzie! Instead of just a donkey head, or long ears, or something that made sense, our director bought a donkey ONSIE for her transformation. She had to go backstage, put on a onsie, put on her overshirt over it, and get back on stage within the space of about 20 seconds. We only truly pulled it off once. Contest day.
  • Finally, and most importantly, show day. The one true time we had to do this and do it well. We were all nervous, but pretty stoked. For this one night, all of our differences, our arguing, and our pettiness melted away. We were a team, a family. Trust me, it did not last. It didn’t even last to our next play (there was a student run one, just for fun). I’m getting off topic. The point is, we really came together for this. Hair and makeup worked the fastest and had us looking the best they’d ever done, props were all ready for striking, lights and sounds were on point, the stage crew (which was just whatever actors weren’t on stage at any given moment) were super efficient. It was truly our best show. Except when Lizzie corpsed, but shhhh…. Drama aside (hahahahahaha), we won. First place! WOOOOT! I get excited just remembering it. I never talked to those people afterwards (except Opal, she’s chill)(probably)(and obviously Lizzie).

So, that’s it. My acting career. One play (and I guess you can count this one choir show, but…)(and the time I did a one-man performance of BMC for Lizzie’s B-day, but that was self-run and my acting SUCKED). ANYway, you humans should comment if you have any funny acting stories. I love hearing/reading them, so bring it on! If anyone actually does this, I’d be willing to read them out for a video if you give permission.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Storytime: Tennis Boy

Aloha humans!

Today was my first day back in tennis practice and an interesting occurrence took place.

First, I need to describe my outfit: A Jacksepticeye T-Shirt, a matching hat, team pants (sweats, with fabric kinda like a windbreaker, they’re a bit big on me), and my hair was tied up in a bun. I was carrying my tennis racket and a tube of tennis balls

The courts I practice at are public courts by a high school. There was a tee-ball practice going on there, so after working on my serve for a bit, I left. On my way home, I walked past the middle school building. As I was walking by, a group of kids, two girls and a boy, exited the building.

“Hi tennis boy-” one of the girls called out, cutting off in the middle of the letter y. I guess she must’ve noticed that I have boobs at that point. I laughed it off and kept walking.

So yeah, first I’ve written about being called a lady, now about being called a boy. What next?

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


P.S: I know I’ve just announced a hiatus, but I said it would last until I had something to tell. Now this happened. If more things like this keep happening, I will end the hiatus. If not, it’ll go on a bit longer. Hang in there!

Storytime: “Lady?”

Aloha humans! I decided that we could have an extra post today.

I remember the first time someone called me a lady. Not a young lady, my grandfather calls me that, but a lady. It was weird.

I was 17.

Okay, so the plumbing at my mother’s house was fricked up and she really needed a wrench and some Draino. So, Mimi drove to the nearby Walmart, but since it was late she refused to go in. I was on my own, which I’d never done before. Don’t judge! My sister is only a year older than me and we always did everything together, including going to the store. The closest thing I’d ever done was walk into a tiny neighborhood grocery to buy a cucumber.

I was a bit nervous, but I was nearly an adult! Surely I could handle a measly grocery store trip. In the biggest store in town. When it was eerily empty and quiet. No prob.

As it was the dead of winter, I was wearing my coat. It was a nice green pea coat. I was also wearing a green scarf I had knit myself and black gloves that work with touch screens. Yes, what I was wearing is important. I walked in. I quickly decided that, since I only needed two items, I’d just get a basket rather than a cart. Except, there were no baskets.

Okay, no prob. It’s just two items, I could just carry them. I am a small person and those carts were really unwieldy.

I walked to the hardware area. I was uneasy. The huge emptiness of the normally loud and crowded store was making me a bit on-edge. I found the Draino first.

I took a photo of the display, sent it to my mother, then sat down to wait for a response. I was starting to reach nausea levels of nervous. My mother sent me a pic of the bottle she wanted, then told me to get the value pack of the other brand too. Since the value pack was wrapped in plastic, I had to cradle it in one arm and hold the other bottle in my other hand.

I had to find a basket somewhere.

I wandered around the front of the store for a bit and found nothing. I checked the grocery too, but nothing. As I was making my way back to hardware to find a wrench, my mother texted me. After juggling the bottles around a bit, I pulled my phone out of my pocket. She had sent me a photo of another bottle of Draino saying, “this one too.”

That’s the point where I should’ve given up and gotten a cart. Unfortunately, I was a stubborn seventeen year old who was too small to navigate the carts comfortably.

So, I resigned myself to carrying all this crap.

I walked the rest of the way back to hardware, grabbed the third bottle, and searched for a wrench. I was now carrying a bottle in each hand and had a value pack cradled in my left arm.

I found the aisle with wrenches and not-so-slowly lowered the bottles to the ground. I then inspected the wrenches carefully to find the one Mom had asked for.

It wasn’t there.


Determined to bring back something I sent her a photo of the closest thing I could find and asked her if it would work.

“Sure why not.”

There’s this video of Jaiden Animations where it shows a meter on the side. One sec, I’ll find a gif.

Image result for jaiden animations blood pressure gif

Image result for jaiden animations blood pressure gif

That was me.

Okay, fine. I was so done with this trip, this would have to do.

I was then carrying four bottles of Draino (in the same configuration as above except, instead of in my right hand, one was on my right wrist) and a wrench in my right hand.

All that was left to do was walk back to the cash registers, find one that had a cashier (no way was I gonna try to figure out self checkout on top of all this), pay, and leave.

*Kim Possible Beep*

*Quiet screams of frustration*

I put the wrench in my mouth and reached into my pocket, in hopes of being able to check the text and put my phone back without having to reply (or carry anything else). No such luck.

As soon as I began to take out my phone, I felt the value pack slipping. There was only one way to spare myself the humiliation of bursting a value pack of off-brand Draino on the floor of a near-empty WalMart at 10:30 in the evening. I went down with it.

I dropped like a sack of potatoes in the middle of the only aisle I’d been in that night that had another person in it. Luckily (and faith in humanity cracking… ly), the dude in the aisle just glanced at me and turned away. Awkward situation avoided, but come on dude! I could’ve been having a heart attack! Or injured myself! Whatever.

I recovered quickly and took out my phone. A message from Mimi.

“You okay?”

*long suffering teenager sigh*


I picked myself up and finished making my way to the front of the store. Register 4 was the only one with a cashier, but I was too relieved that any register had someone working it to care.

Then I looked at the cashier…s. They were… fighting? It turned out they were just playing, until they saw me standing there, kinda startled. One of them ushered me in to check out. They continued to play-argue while the first one checked me out.

Suddenly she turned to her friend and asked, “Why are you even over here? You aren’t doing anything.”

“I am too! I’m helping this lady bag her stuff.”

I was already a bit on-edge but that comment really startled me. I was a really baby-faced 17 year old, or so I had thought. Turned out that in the winter clothes I was wearing, it was hard to tell my age and the design of the coat made me seem a bit older than I normally did. I was so startled, I forgot the pin to Mimi’s card.

I texted Mimi to get the pin, but I remembered it right before she responded. I gathered my bags, and receipt, and left.

And that’s the time I got called a lady for the first time, right after an especially harrowing grocery trip.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Storytime? Rant? Something: Insomnia

Aloha humans! Since I had this experience last night, I figured I may as well share. It’s not funny, I’m afraid, so if you’re here for comedy, maybe skip this post.


Although it’s inconsistent, I do often have a problem with insomnia, especially when i’m not on break from class. The semester break I’m currently on is about to come to an end, and, unexpectedly, that seems to have caused the problem to reappear.

Last night, I was watching Batman when the website I was on decided to stop loading. It was around 10 pm, so I figured that was a sign that I should go to sleep. I laid down, closed my eyes, and used my usual method of falling asleep.  started focusing on one topic and let my mind wander from there until I was sound asleep. This method has always ad varied results, but it is the most reliable one I have short of self-hypnosis.

Except last night it decided not to work.

This was the first time since break, so I figured that I’d slept in too long that day and just needed to tire myself out. I got out my computer and started reading stories on a FFN account that had been recommended to me. Since most of the stories were twelve chapters long,  I figured I’d be lucky if I made it through one before I was fast asleep.

Out of 16 stories, I finished 13 and a half before I finally fell asleep. Here’s how it went:

I finished the first one and felt really tired and the beginnings of a headache (which always happens to me when I stay up too late). In an attempt to prevent the headache, I decided it was time to try to sleep again. I laid down and soon after I could feel my heartbeat in my head and legs.


I knew that feeling meant that I wasn’t going to sleep at a reasonable time. I waited to see if the feeling would pass on its own, but I didn’t get my hopes up. Shortly after, I gave up.

I got up, got a drink of water and read the next story on the list.

Second attempt, same result.

Went to the restroom, read the next 3 stories, tried again.


By this time, my head was pounding. I know (and knew then) that reading off my screen certainly wasn’t helping the headache, but it was that or turning on my light, getting out a print book, and admitting defeat.

Now way I was doing that.

The next few hours passed in a blur of plot lines and wandering around the house in hopes of getting sleepy. Finally, at about 3 in the morning, halfway through the 14th story, I ran out of energy. I laid down, turned off my computer, and was relieved when I couldn’t feel my heartbeat in my head.

The next thing I knew, it was one in the afternoon today.

So, that’s my experience last night, and a fairly typically experience in my life. Sometimes, I do give up and read a print book and other times I watch YouTube videos instead, since those don’t require quite as much brain power as reading does.

If any of you have had similar experiences, don’t hesitate to share them (although given the track record of this blog, no one will end up sharing).

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Storytime: Binks’ Brew

Aloha humans! Sorry I’ve been gone so long. I had to do a lot of family stuff. I’ll probably be gone again coming up.

My little brother loves Christmas. The moment we finish eating Thanksgiving, Christmas music is allowed. The next day, the tree at my dad’s goes up. My mom, however, leaves the tree set up to us.

This kinda comes back to my first post. That was taking down a tree, this is putting it up. Normally, this would mean it’s been almost a year, but, in reality, it’s been about six months. This one isn’t about the struggles of constructing the tree. It’s about how my sister and I spent the time building it.

Okay, keeping in mind we have two trees. Here’s how it went.

About 5 minutes before, I showed Lizzie the English dub of the song “Binks’ Brew” from One Piece. It had a sad bit (no spoilers) and she said, “Ow, my heart!” (I promise this will be important).

Then we were told to build the trees, so I started on the big green one and she built the smaller silver one really quickly. Last year, when I was building the tree, I listened to skydoesminecraft’s (now NetNobody) Roommates series. So, I asked Liz what she wanted to listen to. After a pause, she went with Markiplier’s GTA V playlist.

However, she was driving me irrationally crazy. She kept talking while I tried to voice search the playlist she wanted. So, to annoy her back, I played “Binks’ Brew” again. Didn’t do much to annoy her, but the video had lyrics, so I sang along a bit.

Liz was surprised to hear me sing along, “Wow, you really do know this song.”

“Nope. It’s a lyrics video.”

A sucker for music, she came and read over my shoulder and we sang it together a few times, with varying levels of success. Afterward, when we were listening to the GTA playlist, we joked a bit about the song. How it was, “This universe’s (The One Piece one) more narratively appropriate equivalent to “What Would You Do With a Drunken Sailor.” It was pretty fun.

Anyway, tl;dr: “Binks’ Brew.” Google it.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Storytime(?): Bad Habit

Aloha humans! Recently, I have acquired a laziness-based bad habit.

I keep turning in the rough drafts of papers as my final copy.

This semester I’m taking a composition class. One thing we do is a peer review of the typed rough draft of our paper. Yay, right?

For our first paper (a narrative essay on something we regret) I wrote my rough draft and the classmate that reviewed it wrote in pencil. Good for me, I soon found out. About a week later we were expected to turn in our final copy. Unfortunately, I had forgotten the due date and hadn’t written one.


I quickly dug out my rough draft and hoped I could pass it as a final. My internal monologue was constant: “please let him not have written on it, please let him not have written on it, please let him not have written on it!”

Written in pencil.


I quickly erased all the pencil and turned in my “finished” paper.

A few weeks pass.

My class is a pretty small one, so we’re always asking each other’s grades. Some asked “did anyone make above a 90.”

The guy who reviewed my paper chimed in, “I got a 94!”

“Lorie, what did you make”

“I dunno. Let me check”


“97?! I turned in my rough draft!”

It was hilarious. My classmates were simultaneously amused and a bit peeved.

Second paper rolls around. I was too ̶l̶a̶z̶y̶  busy to type a final copy. I, once again turned in a rough draft.


I need to stop. I’m pushing it.

Anyway, thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!