Aloha Humans!

I’m not from Hawaii


I’m not from Hawaii… Anywho, I’m Lorelei. My awesome friend Ashleena/Lyn told me to do this (read: is sitting next to me making sure I don’t freak out at the features and junk). Despite the platypus thing I have going on, this blog isn’t about platypodes. I’m just here to talk about crap that happens to me and hopefully be somewhat entertaining. ummm… now what? I guess it’s story time…

So, I’ll start with a story that just happened. The aforementioned awesome friend of mine is staying the night and we had to take down the Christmas stuff (I know, we’re appalling). We start taking down decorations. I should make it clear now I am a 5′ petite girl and I can’t even reach the top shelf of my bookshelf without standing on my tippy-toes (is that how you spell that?). I was standing on the couch pulling down swag and she was de-lighting the small tree and I proceed to drop a crap ton of decorations on my head… and my little brother (sorry again, Blue).

But the truly entertaining part was taking apart the Big Tree. It isn’t actually that big… but to a midget like me the thing is absolutely massive! Lyn (going with the shorter name) starts trying to unwind the lights and gets really confused by my light-stringing method (I string it like a frickin pre-lit tree) while I try to explain my reasoning and tangle myself up in the lights. I finally take over and we do manage to get all the lights off.

Now comes the time to finally actually take the dumb thing apart. And this is where the feces hits the whirling-blade device (hats off to anyone who gets that joke). So we remove the top part no problem. BUT, then when we try to remove the middle section… It Refuses! Lyn held the base down and I pulled the stupid section as hard as I could, and it just frickin stays there. It occurs to us that the tiny midget girl is probably not the best for that task. So we switch, but I’m too light to hold the base down so Lyn ends up just PICKING UP THE TREE. Finally, we just give up and decide to start folding up the branches.

And we realize we have no idea how to get the branches to lock. We push up the top layer and it stays, but the next layer only half the branches lock into place. We just look at each other like, “Now what?”. Then Lyn gets a brilliant idea. She twists the branches from the upper layer around this layer and vice versa. My older brother is gonna have a great time setting up the tree in 6 months… So we just wind the branches together till we reach the bottom of the middle section, and Lyn is like, “let’s try to take it a part now.” Which was a brilliant idea and also what we should’ve done IN THE FIRST PLACE. This time i am able to untwist the pieces and realize that this section is heavy as heck. I basically drop it in a controlled manner and Lyn moved it out of the way.

Then we wind the branches of the bottom section too and finally, FINALLY, we finish deconstructing the tree. Only to realize we have no idea where these decorations are supposed to be kept. We should not have been trusted with this task…


Well, that’s all for now. Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Storytime: Chim-Chim-e-nee

Aloha humans! The past two days have been very eventful. A small infestation (but more positive) of Chaetura pelagica. Fun times!

Okay, but seriously. Ages and ages ago I told the story of a bird that had gotten into our house. Well… Yesterday we discovered the type of that original bird. Because it’s nest and fledglings fell into our fireplace. Turns out, we don’t have a damper! Our fireplace was full of eggshells, bird poop, and babies. The rain had knocked down a nest with four or five fledglings (one of them might’ve been an older nestling still).

By the way, that Latin name is for Chimney Swifts.

We called maybe five different wildlife centers to find out what to do. We kept getting redirected and given more phone numbers until finally a bird specialist told us what was up. She said that since they’re chimney swifts we just need to place them on the inner wall of the chimney above the damper. We don’t have a damper, so we just had to put them above the inner ledge.

The five babies were attached to the decorative grate we had placed in front of the fireplace. We slowly pulled the grate away, Lizzie singing the whole time (she had been while we were calling too to keep them calm. It worked really well! They clustered together as close to her as they could get to listen. It was some Snow White magic!), and pried them off the grate and gently place them in a box with a towel in it. I say we, it was actual Mom. She (like I) is terrified of birds, but she did what she had to do. She also wore gardening gloves as she did.

Then, I shone a light on a mirror so she could see where to put the babies. She carefully placed them on the inner wall, then she put the grate in front of the fireplace, flush with the wall so nothing could get out. We heard them get quieter as they climbed. I felt kinda guilty because I had freaked out and refused to help. I was scared, what do ya want! I did do some research to help me calm down, but I couldn’t work up the nerve to do anything actually helpful. Whatever, we thought we were done.

We were wrong.

I woke up to Lizzie explaining that there was a bird caught between a window and a whiteboard a good ways away from the chimney.


I was less scared and more annoyed now. Why must our lives be plagued by birds! I took a look. It was a bit disheveled, so we thought it might be a fledgling, but it was clear it could only have gotten there by flying.

It was not a fledgling.

We decided that the best solution was to remove the screen of the window from the outside, open the window, and let the bird fly out.

Problem: We saw a wasp nest between the screen and window.

Solution: Remove the screen very carefully.

I may be scared of birds, but I’m not scared of wasps. I volunteered to remove the screen. I got in my wasp hunting gear, mentioned before here, and went around to remove the screen.

It was already popped out a bit at the bottom, so I just grabbed the bottom and pulled it up. The wasp nest was empty.


I pulled the screen all the way out and got my first good look at our bird friend. Definitely an adult. Actually quite pretty. I wish I’d gotten a good picture. All I got was a picture of the tail from beside the whiteboard.


See? It’s that weird shape back there. That’s a birb.

Anyway, screen removed, now we have to open the window. Mom tried to grab the window from the top to open it. No luck. You can’t really get a grip on it that way. I decided to try to open it from the outside. It took some convincing, but I got Mom to agree with that plan.

So, I went back outside to look at the window. It was cracked open just the tiniest bit. I expressed this to Mom and Lizzie (Mimi had decided she wanted nothing to do with this one, since she single-handedly dealt with the last one. Rood.) via exaggerated gestures and shouting.

Then, I hooked my fingers under the window and slowly pulled it up. I got it as high as I could before *ahem*… chickening out. The others held the window up, until they discovered I had raised it enough that it would stay open on it’s own. Mom kept her hand on it just in case, but we were good.

Except the frickin bird wouldn’t leave! It just sat there!

Mom: “I think it’s in shock.”

Me: shouts in an attempt to startle it

Mom: “That’s just mean.”

Me: “I guess we just gotta nudge it, then it’ll go”

So, I reached down to nudge it, then thought, “hold on!” I turned around and grabbed a stick thing we had attempted to use to open the window earlier (I’m not gonna say it was a toilet brush handle… just the handle). I slowly lowered the end towards the bird, and carefully… just… touched it.

It immediately took off out the window and flew away. I won’t lie, I jumped a bit when it moved, but mission accomplished! We shut the window and put a lock on it. We decided to leave the screen for later.

I started listing off possibilities for who this bird could be in relation to the babies we saved yesterday. Sometimes a bird from the flock will stay with a mating pair to help raise the nestlings/fledglings. So, this could’ve been a parent or “nanny.” Either way, we came to the conclusion that this bird was probably in the nest when it fell, and had left the fireplace to find a way out. Instead, it got stuck.

So, yeah. I made up for yesterday’s un-helpfulness by doing everything (according to Mom). Liz did sing to this one, but since it was an adult, it didn’t help quite as much. Still, it did keep it calm enough for it not to fly around the whole house.

Anyway, that’s my story.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Where Did I Go? (Cotton Eye Joe)

Aloha humans! It sure has been a while, huh? it’ll probably be a while again.


Because I have put my focus on:

  1. My YouTube Channel (I may only have 8 subscribers, and they may not be the most dedicated, but I love them just as much as I love you humans)
  2. College Prep (Save me)

So, yeah. Not a lot of news… Had the celebration of life for my paternal grandmother (8 months later), learned some neat stuff about theoretical time travel (too bad string theory isn’t viable), and schooled a kid I used to be jealous of for his intelligence on Hawking Radiation with the help of Bro’s best friend. Started playing a weird home-brew D&D campaign that’s p fun.

YouTube is going alright. The Slime Rancher Let’s Play is fun, if not very well done (but it’s my first real content, so I think it can be forgiven, right?). My sister (you know her as Lizzie, she also goes by Ace) and I are doing a kinda extra audiobook of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz as part of a podcast kinda thing called The Platy-Pod. I went with the reference to platypodes as a tribute to this blog. I also sang once. The song was just so stuck in my head! I think it came out okay, but who really knows. I’ve been listening to a lot of Welcome to Night Vale lately. That’s where I first heard the song.

All in all, fun stuff. I miss having the time (and stories) to do the blog all the time, but what can you do? It’s not like I have the time or money to go on adventures for stories. But hey! If you like what I do here, maybe you’ll like my YouTube. I love doing it and nothing’s gonna stop me, but it would be nice to know people are actually watching. More reassuring than talking to myself for hours, yeah? If you’re not interested, that’s cool too! I do still pop in here when I’ve got stories to tell or thoughts to share. I could never leave this completely. My best friend may have forced me to make this blog, but I grew to love it quickly and I couldn’t abandon it for forever. That said:

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


P.S. With any luck that D&D campaign will produce some good stories I can share with you guys! If not, I could always go back to Skyrim.

Existential Crises and Philosophy

Aloha humans! Long time no see! As you may or may not know, the reason I’ve been gone so long is a lack of ideas. My life just isn’t interesting enough for two posts a day! For those unaware, that was my old schedule format. Anyway, I figured that when I do get an idea, I should share it here.

This one is a bit heavy, but bear with me! If you don’t like thinking about the grand scheme of things and the probability of life, you may want to leave now!

Many people, my sister for instance, have existential crises. They’re a fairly common occurrence in humans, frankly. One thing that may cause this is the idea that the odds of our existing were quite small. So many things had to go just right for us to be here! That’s scary, isn’t it? But I disagree with that notion.

Yes, things had to line up just right for us to exist. But we live in a huge, expanding universe! A quote from the book Atom by Laurence M. Krauss perfectly illustrates my point: “This is the wonder of an old and ever-expanding universe: Unlikely events are nevertheless bound to occur.” The way I see it, they may as well occur here.

Let’s base any further conjecture on this principle. Yes, life is a delicate thing, especially intelligent life! But, as unlikely as it’s existence and persistence is, it was bound to happen somewhere. Earth is somewhere; therefore, it was bound to happen here. Sound like wishful thinking? Maybe a little. But look around. Life exists and is complex and beautiful. Why waste time on worrying why? How? Why here? Why now? What are the chances?

Who cares?!

It had to happen somewhere, so it did. We wouldn’t be here if it didn’t happen here. We would be where it did! You were bound to happen and you did. And maybe you will again! Who knows? It doesn’t matter.

Don’t waste this chance!

You are simultaneously unlikely and a certainty. You are a gift. Live your life and respect yourself. Don’t throw away your shot!

I dunno where I’m going with this anymore, to be honest. I guess, we, as humans, shouldn’t focus on how unlikely we are. We should focus on what to do now that we are where we are.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


The Platy-Pod

Aloha humans!

So yesterday I got hit by a wave of emotions, y’know how that goes (if you don’t, it sucks). Last time this happened it was happy feelings, but too much of them. This time, it was not happy feelings. I started thinking about some stuff that there’s no point in worrying about, but what can ya do?

When that happens to me, I like to read out loud. So, last night, I got out The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and sat on the couch and started reading aloud. Lizzie and Blue were in the room, but Blue went to bed not long after I started. It was just me and Lizzie then.

I don’t remember where it started, but at some point in the book, I started joking around a bit. I won’t go into detail, but Liz joined in and we had some pretty funny commentary. Then Liz said, “We should have a podcast.”

I thought that was great and I remembered how I’d been trying to think of a way to get Liz involved with my YouTube Channel, so we created The Platy-Pod. Basically, we’ll read books (in the public domain of course) and throw in our own comments and junk as we go. I can work on reading out loud (a skill I posses, but I’m not great at) and we can make people laugh. Plus, it’ll be easier to do in a short amount of time than the Slime Rancher vids (which I am still doing, but it’ll probably have to wait until the end of the semester). Not sure it actually counts as a podcast, but we’re gonna call it one anyway.

Yeah, that’s all I got.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!




Aloha humans! It’s been a long time, huh? I didn’t intend for that, but between school and the wifi going out briefly, not to mention a just complete lack of anything to write, well…

Anyway, I’m not sure I’m back. I kinda think the upload schedule may be dead. Not even a full year, huh? I do plan to keep updating, just not as regularly as I did in the past. Maybe. I’m gonna try.

Anywho, thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


The Contents of My Pockets


Aloha humans! I think I finally un-jammed the p key! Anyway, I mentioned stim stuff in my previous post (sweet freedom, I don’t have to slap my keyboard every two minutes [I’m a slow typist, alright]), and I thought it might be fun to explain the contents of my pockets on a normal day.

Here we go:

  • Hoodie:
    • Freddy Fazbear Toy (with a rotating head) (aka: bodygaurd)
    • a ceramic tile from my grandparent’s old bathroom getting remodeled
      • irreplaceable item I’d recently lost that Lizzie found
    • Ring from a little bottle of Cranberry juice
      • Other lost item, currently un-replaced
      • makes for a good silent stim toy
    • yolk from an egg-themed stress ball that Blue accidentally popped
      • the yolk is solid and makes a good stress ball on its own
      • the original was filled with water and the yolk floated in it
    • a NES Controller themed fidget cube
      • two joysticks, three switches, arrow buttons, letter buttons, pen click button (but quiet), secret button on the back, track ball, rolly wheel (all can be pressed except the switches and the wheel)
    • Earbuds sometimes
  • Coat:
    • A deck of cards
    • a pair of gloves
  • Pants:
    • Spare change (when I have it)
    • hairbands

So yeah, that’s what’s in my pockets. If even one thing is missing from it’s appropriate pocket it can throw me off all day (except the earbuds, for whatever reason). You can probably see why the juice ring being missing bothers me and why the tile being missing frickin sucked.

Anyway, yeah (the y key is doing it now! ugh! yyyyyyyyyyyy Okay, I think I fixed it).

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!



Aloha humans! Man, I just had one of those moments full of frustration at nothing in particular. It certainly isn’t helped by the fact that the p on my keyboard is jammed and I have to slam the key to make it work. I’m good now.

I suppose the above isn’t one hundred percent accurate; there were a few factors that contributed to my irritation:

  1. I lost two stim things, one which cannot be replaced (luckily Lizzie found that one which has contributed to my cheering up)
  2. The book I just read sucked
  3. I have to write an essay on a book that I have finished, but it has to have at least five outside sources and I could write a perfectly good essay without those sources and they’ll just end up complicating things
  4. The tennis tournament I was excited for this week got cancelled due to rain
  5. I can’t get together all the items I need to be in dress code for an important event this Friday, but I can’t miss it
  6. Every time I ask someone for help, they are wildly unhelpful. The people I can count on can’t help and the people that can help won’t because it would be too inconvenient (and I can’t help but feel that if it had been Bro asking, they’d’ve done it, albeit with twice the complaining).
  7. I may have a bit of middle-kid syndrome, but d****t with siblings as crazy talented and awesome as mine, how could I not?!
  8. The world is too frickin scary right now

I’m sure there’s more, but this is what I’m able to think of right now. I’ve recovered from the frustration for the most part, but typing this has helped too (except I gotta stop using words with the letter p or I’m gonna flip my s**t).

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!