Aloha Humans!

I’m not from Hawaii


I’m not from Hawaii… Anywho, I’m Lorelei. My awesome friend Ashleena/Lyn told me to do this (read: is sitting next to me making sure I don’t freak out at the features and junk). Despite the platypus thing I have going on, this blog isn’t about platypodes. I’m just here to talk about crap that happens to me and hopefully be somewhat entertaining. ummm… now what? I guess it’s story time…

So, I’ll start with a story that just happened. The aforementioned awesome friend of mine is staying the night and we had to take down the Christmas stuff (I know, we’re appalling). We start taking down decorations. I should make it clear now I am a 5′ petite girl and I can’t even reach the top shelf of my bookshelf without standing on my tippy-toes (is that how you spell that?). I was standing on the couch pulling down swag and she was de-lighting the small tree and I proceed to drop a crap ton of decorations on my head… and my little brother (sorry again, Blue).

But the truly entertaining part was taking apart the Big Tree. It isn’t actually that big… but to a midget like me the thing is absolutely massive! Lyn (going with the shorter name) starts trying to unwind the lights and gets really confused by my light-stringing method (I string it like a frickin pre-lit tree) while I try to explain my reasoning and tangle myself up in the lights. I finally take over and we do manage to get all the lights off.

Now comes the time to finally actually take the dumb thing apart. And this is where the feces hits the whirling-blade device (hats off to anyone who gets that joke). So we remove the top part no problem. BUT, then when we try to remove the middle section… It Refuses! Lyn held the base down and I pulled the stupid section as hard as I could, and it just frickin stays there. It occurs to us that the tiny midget girl is probably not the best for that task. So we switch, but I’m too light to hold the base down so Lyn ends up just PICKING UP THE TREE. Finally, we just give up and decide to start folding up the branches.

And we realize we have no idea how to get the branches to lock. We push up the top layer and it stays, but the next layer only half the branches lock into place. We just look at each other like, “Now what?”. Then Lyn gets a brilliant idea. She twists the branches from the upper layer around this layer and vice versa. My older brother is gonna have a great time setting up the tree in 6 months… So we just wind the branches together till we reach the bottom of the middle section, and Lyn is like, “let’s try to take it a part now.” Which was a brilliant idea and also what we should’ve done IN THE FIRST PLACE. This time i am able to untwist the pieces and realize that this section is heavy as heck. I basically drop it in a controlled manner and Lyn moved it out of the way.

Then we wind the branches of the bottom section too and finally, FINALLY, we finish deconstructing the tree. Only to realize we have no idea where these decorations are supposed to be kept. We should not have been trusted with this task…


Well, that’s all for now. Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


The Contents of My Pockets


Aloha humans! I think I finally un-jammed the p key! Anyway, I mentioned stim stuff in my previous post (sweet freedom, I don’t have to slap my keyboard every two minutes [I’m a slow typist, alright]), and I thought it might be fun to explain the contents of my pockets on a normal day.

Here we go:

  • Hoodie:
    • Freddy Fazbear Toy (with a rotating head) (aka: bodygaurd)
    • a ceramic tile from my grandparent’s old bathroom getting remodeled
      • irreplaceable item I’d recently lost that Lizzie found
    • Ring from a little bottle of Cranberry juice
      • Other lost item, currently un-replaced
      • makes for a good silent stim toy
    • yolk from an egg-themed stress ball that Blue accidentally popped
      • the yolk is solid and makes a good stress ball on its own
      • the original was filled with water and the yolk floated in it
    • a NES Controller themed fidget cube
      • two joysticks, three switches, arrow buttons, letter buttons, pen click button (but quiet), secret button on the back, track ball, rolly wheel (all can be pressed except the switches and the wheel)
    • Earbuds sometimes
  • Coat:
    • A deck of cards
    • a pair of gloves
  • Pants:
    • Spare change (when I have it)
    • hairbands

So yeah, that’s what’s in my pockets. If even one thing is missing from it’s appropriate pocket it can throw me off all day (except the earbuds, for whatever reason). You can probably see why the juice ring being missing bothers me and why the tile being missing frickin sucked.

Anyway, yeah (the y key is doing it now! ugh! yyyyyyyyyyyy Okay, I think I fixed it).

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!



Aloha humans! Man, I just had one of those moments full of frustration at nothing in particular. It certainly isn’t helped by the fact that the p on my keyboard is jammed and I have to slam the key to make it work. I’m good now.

I suppose the above isn’t one hundred percent accurate; there were a few factors that contributed to my irritation:

  1. I lost two stim things, one which cannot be replaced (luckily Lizzie found that one which has contributed to my cheering up)
  2. The book I just read sucked
  3. I have to write an essay on a book that I have finished, but it has to have at least five outside sources and I could write a perfectly good essay without those sources and they’ll just end up complicating things
  4. The tennis tournament I was excited for this week got cancelled due to rain
  5. I can’t get together all the items I need to be in dress code for an important event this Friday, but I can’t miss it
  6. Every time I ask someone for help, they are wildly unhelpful. The people I can count on can’t help and the people that can help won’t because it would be too inconvenient (and I can’t help but feel that if it had been Bro asking, they’d’ve done it, albeit with twice the complaining).
  7. I may have a bit of middle-kid syndrome, but d****t with siblings as crazy talented and awesome as mine, how could I not?!
  8. The world is too frickin scary right now

I’m sure there’s more, but this is what I’m able to think of right now. I’ve recovered from the frustration for the most part, but typing this has helped too (except I gotta stop using words with the letter p or I’m gonna flip my s**t).

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


An Idea

Aloha humans! I feel like schools could use a club like this:

A place where the name of a club member is drawn out of a hat at ever meeting. Whoever gets their name drawn can talk to the group (or just to someone there they trust if they’re not comfortable talking to a bunch of people) about whatever they want for half an hour. No restrictions except time, could be positive or negative, free captive audience.

There would be two hats. One for people yet to speak and one for people who have spoken. If you aren’t there when you’re name gets drawn, it gets put back in the first hat, unless you miss more meetings than you attend by a significant margin, then you lose your chance that cycle. That way, people are more likely to actually listen to others when it’s not their turn. When the first hat is empty, the hats switch purpose.

If a topic is too heavy for you, you can choose to leave. If too many people leave, the person speaking might get discouraged, so it’s kind of a last resort thing.

A person can pick an topic the wanna talk about without being judged, even if it’s one that’s uncomfortable or “childish” or whatever. There aren’t language restrictions (you can cuss all you want or give a whole speech in Spanish if you prefer).

After the half hour of speaking, there’s fifteen minutes of free time to just chat or eat snacks or whatever. A good chance for someone to share a specific thing they wanted to if they didn’t get to talk that day.

So, yeah. That would be cool.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Where Have You (Read: I) Been?

Aloha humans! Just got off hiatus and already missing three days. What’s up with that?


  • Friday: Came home, fell asleep, no preamble, no context, just drained of a energy and fell asleep.
  • Saturday: Built a hoverboard, and not the gyrobike thing, a board that hovers
  • Sunday: Didn’t even turn on m computer, slept in, went out, had a day but no computer
  • Today: Class, doctor’s appointment, taking my sibs for a haircut (that’s why this post is so late)

So, yeah, that’s basically what I’ve been up to. You humans haven’t missed much.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


An Essay, Submitted for Your Approval

Aloha humans! I had to write a theme analysis essay for English and I’ve gotta say, it’s not that good. I completed the assignment and whatever, but it’s not my best work. On that note, here it is:

The Value of Chrysanthemums

     John Steinbeck wrote the short story, “The Chrysanthemums” to teach the reader not to place the value of one’s accomplishments in the hands of another, especially a stranger. The story follows Elisa Allen, a housewife with a flower garden and a particular pride for her chrysanthemums. While she’s gardening before a date with her husband, a man shows up asking to repair some pots and pans for her. She turns him down, but when he appeals to her pride in her flowers, she takes him up on the offer. She later feels crushed when she spots the thrown out chrysanthemums on the side of the road.

     Elisa is shown to be exceptionally proud of her flowers at the beginning of the story. In one conversation with her husband, when it is noted, “‘They’ll be strong coming in this year.’” “In her tone and on her face there was a little smugness” (2). It’s clear she puts a lot of time, effort, and value in her chrysanthemums. When other people do the same, she responds positively, as the repair man discovers.

When the man first arrives, Elisa wants nothing to do with his repairing services. However, the man is clearly practiced in using flattery to gain customers, as he shows when he “changed his tone quickly”(5) to match Elisa’s feelings for the scent of the flowers. He’s a forcibly agreeable person in those moments, with the feel of a man who the reader can tell is conning Elisa. Mrs. Allen, however, is blinded by her pride in her chrysanthemums and falls for the trick, hook, line, and sinker.

The man, having obtained the payment for repairing the pots, no longer has any need for the chrysanthemum shoots the poor woman gave him. It is foreshadowed when he says, “Sand? Oh, sure. You mean the chrysanthemums” (8). Although unclear to Elisa, it can be seen by the astute reader that the man completely forgot about the flowers and has no intention of keeping them.

Elisa, none the wiser, is spurred on by lingering pride. She dresses especially nicely for her date with her husband, puts on a slightly aloof air, and builds intense feelings of strength and self-confidence on the pride the repair man stoked. “‘I’m strong,’ she boasted. ‘I never knew before how strong.’” (9)

Then it all comes crashing down. She sees the discarded shoots and the foundation she built her confidence on crumbles away. She placed too much stock in this man’s, this stranger’s, opinion of flowers of which she was already proud. She let his careless playing with her emotions strip the value from the accomplishment of growing and tending her garden. “She turned her coat collar up so he could not see that she was crying weakly–like an old woman.”(11)

Elisa’s plight teaches us, as Steinbeck intended, not to put so much stock in people’s opinions of your accomplishments. An achievement still has value even if no one else sees the value in it.


So, yeah. Feel free to give feedback, I could really use it. It’s due tomorrow, so it probably won’t do any good for this essay, but it’ll be good for future reference!

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


Liz Reacts

Aloha humans! Like that sneaky Fine Bros reference? I was way ore proud of that than I should be. Anywhoozers!

I made my sister watch Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie with me, and it looks like she really liked it. I’m gonna see if I can get her over here to talk about it.

So I really like this. It’s soft and cozy and I really appreciate my dad for getting it for me. I think I’ll put- DO NOT WRITE ABOUT THE PILLOW! Jerk. Oh, you wanted me to review the movie? Uh, doi!

Oh. Well, it was pretty cool. I wasn’t as big of a fan of the series as you were (and still am, I must admit) when we were kids. I thought it was pretty funny. I felt really bad for Mr. Krupp at times, surprisingly, and I thought the little romance between him and Edith was adorable. Plus, seeing the affectionate and amazing friendship between Harold and George was incredible. I wish the media showed more close friendships with boys that way.

I also want to read the series now, both because of this movie and because of good things I’ve heard about it. So, that’s about all I’ve got.

You totally should! Well, that’s all she wrote, so I guess this is the end of the post. I’ll see about making this a series if response is good (mwahaha), so let me know!

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!


A Bad Joke

Aloha humans! I was out for a walk earlier today when this “joke” popped into my head, fully formed (like Athena) (have I made that joke before; I think I have) in all it’s not-funny glory.

A man works at a Chinese restaurant washing dishes. One day, he is startled by a noise and drops the round pan he is cleaning onto his foot, breaking his toe. He has to get a cast, but he’s not hurt too seriously.

The next day, he goes out to dinner with a few friends. One friend says, “I gotta ask, what happened to your foot?”

The man replies, “It was a wok related incident.”

*b-dum tss*

Tada! A terrible joke courtesy of yours truly. If you have any bad jokes, please share in the comments.

Thanks for reading humans, love ya all! Byeeeeee!